I Like Being Old
Thank you to Ecumen colleague Anna Cole-Kost at Ecumen’s Parmly LifePointes community who contributed this reflection on the gift of growing old. It was sent to her from a friend who has discovered new things in old age:
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by the old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for long.I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, or my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself, I’ve become my own friend.I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4AM and sleep until noon?I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set; they too, will get old.I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things, I think!Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
Rep. Paul Thissen, Who Sees Innovation in The Future of Aging, to Run for Minnesota Governor
Minnesota State Representative Paul Thissen, a Democrat who chairs the House and Human Services Committee, filed papers yesterday to run for Governor of Minnesota in 2010. What’s particularly intriguing about Thissen is his interest in the age wave (check out his web site here) and innovation and his desire to help shape new solutions.The newsletter Politics in Minnesota recently interviewed Thissen as part of a larger story on aging services public policy (The newsletter gave a shout out to Changing Aging, which was nice).Following is an excerpt from the interview:
… There’s also positive energy on Age Wave policy in the Minnesota Legislature. We asked Rep. Thissen if he has any specific legislative goals related to this issue.His enthusiastic answers indicated the importance in which care for the aging is placed in this influential committee. Despite the materializing crisis, Thissen is markedly optimistic about the projects lined up. 'It’s really a exciting time,' he said. In the upcoming session, he expects to be 'fighting the budget,' but was confident that important measures could still be passed.Thissen characterized the long-term care debate in Minnesota currently as a partisan issue, often boiling down to yea-or-nay nursing home funding votes. What he wants to see is the transfer of the issue to a more holistic, long-term issue of health and society. First, saving for retirement is a huge issue; Thissen would like to see a 529-style tax-advantaged retirement savings plan in Minnesota, as has been established in Nebraska. (He and Rep. Laura Brod, a Republican, wrote a bi-partisan op-ed on this very subject recently in the MInneapolis Star Tribune.) Encouraging Minnesotans to set aside funds for disabilities and health care is understood to be a major goal.Other goals in the Legislature include continuing the legacy of the Community Consortium Bill, to extend the flexibility of local communities in allocating and distributing health care money. Thissen sees individual freedom with care dollars as an important component of allowing Minnesota seniors to age with dignity and independence.Thissen thinks that the economic realities of the Age Wave can be the catalyst for change, politically. But he stressed that it’s critical to change public perception, to encourage everybody to see themselves and their parents or grandparents in such a way as to personalize the issue. He mentioned the idea of convening a summit, with citizen dialogue and bipartisan legislative support, to address issues in aging. When Minnesotans have an investment in seeing themselves and their loved ones cared for, Thissen said, 'that’s how we start to make change.' …
A Veterans Day Prayer From Ecumen
I’d like to share a Veterans Day prayer from Rev. Alice Olson, who leads Ecumen’s spiritual services at Ecumen’s Bayshore and Lakeshore communities in Duluth, Minnesota. Thank you to everyone who has served our country, is serving and who has shared their family members in service to America. God Bless.
Almighty God, CreatorWe commend to your gracious care and keeping all the men and women of our armed forces at home and abroad. Defend them day by day with your heavenly grace, strengthen them in their trials and temptations; give them courage to face the perils which beset them; and grant them a sense of your abiding presence wherever they may be.We ask that you be present with us this day as we honor and remember those in this community who have served or are serving especially those who work for Ecumen and their families.May your love and strength be with them, within them and around them.Amen.
The Millennials and Innovation in America and Aging Services
Do you think transformation of aging services in America is just about seniors … just about baby boomers … think again:
Still Sharing Amid Alzheimer’s: Bob Can Give Love and He Can Receive It
Copyright Photo by Laura Crosby
Changing Aging has featured several poems from St. Paul writer Anne Simpson, who wrote Growing Down, a book of poems and photography on she and her husband’s journey with Alzheimer’s. Please read earlier posts here in order: Growing Down: Poems for an Alzheimer’s Patient, Diagnosis, I’m Still Here, Bob Said He Was Growing Down.What is so beautiful about Anne’s work is that it doesn’t sugarcoat the challenges of Alzheimer’s, but it also underscores hope, as with this excerpt from the third chapter called 'End Stage.'
' … . He would rejoice to know that 'blessings' of this disease still are unfolding: we are close to our families and we have reconnected with friends who have not seen him in years.Bob (a Methodist minister) is in ministry still, teaching us patience and acceptance. He is dying a gracious death. There were several years of high anxiety and constant chatter, but he is more peaceful now. He talks very little, but he says 'Good, good.' He says, 'Thank you' and 'I love … 'Even as he approaches the end of his long struggle with dementia, he can give love and he can receive it. He is still here!
Thank you, Anne, for sharing yourself and your poetry with 'Changing Aging.' Below is one more work of Anne’s called Visitation:In the Alzheimer’s homewhere the young mother has come to visit,her baby is crying.You hold out your arms.You sit on a cold, metal fold-up chairby the nurse’s desk,sit calmly as you hold the flailing bundle --purple screwed-up face,fists and feet pummelling the air,tiny lungs forming screamsthat pierce old deafened ears.Bent over the child, you sit,gently rocking,stroking her,speaking sounds no others understand.You murmur the language that comes before speechthat she, so recently arrived,and you, so close to return,can speak together.
St. Paul Pioneer Press Launches Age Wave, a Long-Term Care Blog
St. Paul Pioneer Press reporter Jeremy Olson has launched a new blog called The Age Wave. Jeremy has received a fellowship from the Kaiser Family Foundation to look at long-term care today and its future and is writing a series of stories for the newspaper.In writing the series and the blog Olson says he’s taking his late grandmother’s advice:
'Take care of the corners and the middle always takes care of itself.' Sure, she was talking about spreading frosting, but it applies. By examining individual stories and struggles -- by highlighting the hidden corners of long-term care in Minnesota -- he intends to identify broader solutions.
Ecumen Names Brian Nelson to Lead The Ecumen Foundation
Ecumen is very pleased to welcome Brian Nelson as executive director of The Ecumen Foundation and vice president of philanthropy. His role is integral to our values of service, people, innovation, spirituality, wellness, collaboration and stewardship.
'We’re so pleased to have Brian joining the Ecumen team,' said Kathryn Roberts, Ecumen CEO and president. 'Brian’s leadership and talents are essential to our transformation work and helping our society view and understand aging in radically different ways.'
Brian joins Ecumen from Minneapolis-based Allina Hospitals and Clinics, where he headed fund development for Allina Home Care, Hospice and Palliative Care. Over his career he has helped raise nearly $100 million for leading Twin Cities organizations, including Memorial Blood Centers, Catholic Charities, Children’s Cancer Research Fund and the American Cancer Society.
'The unprecedented age wave is incredible opportunity for innovation in our society,' said Brian. 'I’m greatly looking forward to connecting people and their philanthropic investments to the creativity, passion and vision at Ecumen, and help fuel the future of aging in America.'
A native of Alexandria, Minn., site of Ecumen’s Bethany Community, Brian is a graduate of Concordia College in Moorhead, Minn., where he received a B.A. in Communications and English. In 2000, he was named one of the Twin Cities' top '40 Under 40' leaders by the Minneapolis-St. Paul Business Journal. He lives in Eagan with his wife Sue and sons Mack, Jake and Gabe.
Lessons from The Obama Campaign for Aging Services Transformation
Congratulations to President-Elect Obama. Not only did he make history last night, but he also won our Changing Aging poll (I’m kind of surprised the networks didn’t ask him about that last night.)No matter who you voted for, one thing you have to admire is the discipline and tremendous skill with which the Obama campaign ran their campaign. There are a lot of lessons there for aging services providers and others working on transformation. Here are several I took away. Please feel free to add others:- Have a Vision and Think Larger: Obama and his supporters went into Iowa last year with a vision. 'He could become President.' It was a pretty audacious goal at that time. We now know the rest of the story.- A Message That’s Easy to Get: Change … Yes We Can. Pretty easy to understand.- Everyone Feels a Connection: It’s evident that people felt a meaningful connection to Obama, the campaign, and each other. The social media use by this campaign - where people can talk directly with each other (instead of at each other) - was unprecedented. So were the number of small donors who were moved enough by the effort to make a contribution.- Celebrate: I was struck by the festive atmosphere conveyed by the Obama campaign over and over … from the rally in Denver to the victory party in Grant Park last night. The lesson: we have to take time to celebrate along the way in the transformation journey.- Stay on Track: The discipline of the Obama campaign was unbelievable. They had so many potential distractions, yet they never abandoned their vision for making it reality.- Embrace Change: Change is uncertain. Uncertainty can be scary. The Obama team made 'Change' their daily headline. They turned uncertainty into a positive, a rallying point, rather than a fear factor.- Work for Somthing Bigger Than Yourself: On the campaign trail, Obama repeatedly challenged people to go beyond themselves. That same spirit has to be present to drive innovation. One person can’t do it.- Always Continue Building: The really hard work now begins for President-elect Obama. He stressed that last night in his victory speech. There’s a lesson for all of us involved in transformation work: The building never stops.
Jean Marino Knows a Thing or Two About Forging New Paths
Sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone to forge new paths. And what a rush it can be.We want to share with you a new Successful Aging profile from someone who knows about trying something new - Jean Marino, an Ecumen customer in Duluth, Minn. Discover through Jean’s own words below how she forged a new path in soaring (literally) towards her dreams:
Since I was a child in Esko, Minnesota, and watched airplanes fly over our farm, I’ve wanted to play in the clouds. And that’s exactly what I did this summer when, on my 80th birthday, I skydived for the very first time. (I’m even scared of heights.)The airplane took me up 11,000 feet on a gorgeous day over Duluth. The first 5,000 feet of my jump were especially a rush, because I was in a total free-fall. My jump partner and I fell through the sky at 120 miles per hour or about 180 feet per second.We pulled the cords on our parachutes at 5,000 feet and then made a smooth descent to the ground.From the time I jumped out of the plane to the time my feet touched the ground was about a total of 4.5 minutes. My son and daughter met me on the ground. In fact, my son plans to do it with me next year. People ask me €˜why the heck I jumped out of a plane?'The answer is simple. It was something I’ve always wanted to do, and I just said I’m going to finally do it.And it was wonderful!
Thank you, Jean!This month’s Successful Aging profile is sponsored by Ecumen’s whitepaper:'Long Term Care Financing Reform: An Incredible Opportunity for Candidates Who Desire Positive Change in America'. As you read this paper, we also remind you to vote on November 4th. Onward and upward!
Kathryn Roberts Named One of Minneapolis/St. Paul’s Best Brains
We throughout Ecumen and in the aging services profession knew this already, but it’s very nice to see it recognized by others …Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine this month named Kathryn Roberts one of the Twin Cities' 'Best Brains.' In the article, State Rep. Paul Thissen, who chairs the State House Health and Human Services Committee (and also was named as one of the 'top thinkers') said Kathryn is perhaps 'Minnesota’s leading thinker on how we will deal with the coming age wave.'We feel very fortunate to have Kathryn’s leadership, vision, energy and thinking working in the aging services profession for the betterment of our country.